Yesterday, my message was entitled Marginal Time :: Creating Space in a Crowded Schedule. As I was planning out the message over the past couple of weeks, one thing that struck me is not that we need to learn how to manage our time better, but how to prioritize our time better. All of the tools to help us manage our time better will do us absolutely no good, unless we are better "prioritizers" of the time we've been given. If I tell you I don't have time to go to the mall this afternoon, then it's because going to the mall is not high enough on my priority list to go. If I come to your birthday party, then I discerned that your birthday party ranked higher during the hours of 5-8 on that day than anything else in my world at that time.
I once heard a teacher say, "If Satan can't make you bad, he'll make you busy." I'm not sure Satan is the one making me busy all the time, but I can allow busyness to consume me if I'm not careful, thus ruining my effectiveness for kingdom purposes. If I practice the core Christian practice of "giving away my time" then I must have time to give, and if I really belief that "everything I am or own belongs to God" then that includes my time as well. These priorities ought to shape my calendar.
If you came yesterday looking for a quick fix solution to your calendar problems, I am sorry if you walked away disappointed. My intention was to go beyond the surface quick fixes (that don't seem to really work anyway) and get to the root issue of managing time - How did God set up our time and why does it matter that we pay attention to it?
If you weren't at the Y for the message, I encourage you to stop reading and listen here. When you are finished come back and join the discussion.
The ancient Hebrews constructed their days according to a divine day-timer. Their days began at sundown, not sun up. They placed significance on what you and I might call the "end of the day." For them it was the first part of the day, and for the Hebrews, "first" always carried a sense of sacredness to it. In the evenings they would share a meal together with family and friends and enjoy good conversation over the course of the evening. Their bodies were adjusted to the natural light patterns and they would begin to "shut down" after the sun set. Did you know we actually have a light-sensitive gland in our brain that tells our bodies when it's time to shut down? After a good nights rest, they would wake up ready to finish the day strong.
You may be asking what the big deal is about this, so let's dig a little. Why I believe it's so important to understand this is because we either believe that the time between our work and our sleep is sacred or left-overs. If you view it asleft-overs then it's easy to check out on your family or waste it away everyday going from event to event. If you view it as sacred, then you will protect that time rigorously and save it for family and friends. It's a priority issue not a management issue.
Our goal as Christ-followers is to replace our priorities with God's priorities over the course of time. Our journey on this earth is full of small priority shifts that slowly transform us into His likeness. When our priorities are right, then our "time management" begins to take care of itself.
So, if you buy into what I'm saying about the sacredness of the after-work hours, primarily between sundown and bedtime, what will look different about your schedule? You tell me? I have some ideas, but I'd really like to hear from some of you that have made the transition and are seeing positive strides in your scheduling as a family. Here is one big one to get you started, though:
The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University released a study in 2005 indicating benefits of family dinners. Here are 10 benefits they found in kids regarding family dinners.
The survey notes 10 positive trends for teens who eat dinner often with their families:
- Less likely to smoke cigarettes
- Less likely to drink alcohol
- Less likely to try marijuana
- Less likely to have friends who use illicit drugs
- Less likely to have friends who abuse prescription drugs
- More likely to get mostly A's and B's at school
- More likely to say they would confide in one or both parents about a serious problem
- More likely to report that their parents are very proud of them
- More likely to report lower levels of stress and tension at home
- More likely to talk to their families during dinner and have the TV off during the meal
Those findings come from comparing teens who have five or more family dinners per week with those who have three or fewer weekly family dinners. (In the 2006 release, findings weren't any different.)
Because of our belief in the sacredness of evenings, coupled with our learnings from this report and others like it, we have set aside our evening for family dinners. It's easy for us right now, but we are setting precedent for years to come that our family table is central. Now we may share family meals with friends and/or family, but it's very high on our priority list.
So...let's hear some of your opinions and thoughts on the sacredness of our after-work, after-school times? How do you demonstrate this in your family.
