Core Virtue::Faithfulness

I have established a good name with God and with others based on my long-term loyalty to those relationships.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.

Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and humankind.
Prov 3:3-4

Faithfulness is an old-school virtue. It's reminiscent of your grandfather, who got a gold watch for staying at the same job for 25 years, and had a party because he and your grandma were married for 50. It takes us back to a time before before the average American moved to a new town every 7 years, changed careers 3-5 times in his or her lifetime, and changed churches even more than that, if he or she attends church at all; before the divorce rate was 50%, and before American businesses viewed older workers as insurance and pension liabilities. It recalls an era when principle almost always won out over expediency. Now we live in a world where faithfulness doesn't fit.

I'm not the guy who wants to go back to Mayberry. I grew up in a version of it, a small Texas town called Stephenville, and I don't view it through rose-colored glasses. I used to wear a t-shirt to school that said, "Welcome to Stephenville, please set your clocks back 200 years." But there is no denying that the benefits we have gained from our metropolitan lifestyle have been offset by unintended consequences. We came to believe that learning to love yourself was the greatest love of all, and that you can't expect anyone to look out for you. We lost our sense of belonging, our sense of trust, even our sense of family in some cases. We came to accept living among millions of strangers instead dozens of friends, and even sitting among them in our mega churches, to which we also feel no real sense of obligation.

But faithfulness is not just a relic of times past. It is a core virtue of Christianity, one of the Fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5. It is timeless and vital to the Christ-life. And while our grandparents may not be around to model it for us, our God--the Inventor or Perfecter of faithfulness--is still here.

So go old-school: rediscover the upside to being faithful to God, family, church, neighborhood, community, and maybe even work. Stay in the same place with the same people long enough to know and be known, love and be loved. Go long on principle instead of selling short on temporary gain. You'll be the salmon swimming against the stream of culture, but you may be surprised how good it feels.

This virtue is related to the following core beliefs: Eternity, Identity in Christ, Church

This virtue is related to the following core practices: Single-mindedness, Biblical Community, Giving Away My Life

Parenting this Virtue

KidsKreed: I am loyal to God, my family and my friends.

Perhaps more than some other virtues, faithfulness is learned over long periods of time, as children see and experience the benefits of their parents remaining faithful to God, family, church and community. By all means, make changes in your family's life with your modeling of this virtue in mind: what will our kids learn about faithfulness from this relocation, job change, church change, school change, moral decision, or family decision?

A note to divorced parents: divorce is a direct challenge to every family member's belief in and understanding of faithfulness, but it's not the end of the road. Remember that God's grace applies to this and every competency. Not only can you recover your own belief in faithfulness, you can model and teach it to your kids. Here are a couple of places to start:

1. Beware of the temptation to justify your decisions to your children by bashing your ex. They can still learn important lessons about faithfulness by how you and your ex respond to one another and to them as parents. Whenever possible, honor their mother or father.
2. Prioritize faithfulness in the kids' other areas of life, especially in the season right after divorce. If at all possible, don't make major changes like moving to a new town, new school or church. There is a little voice that tells us in such times that we would be better off to just run away and start over, but the voice is very often wrong. You and your children can learn an incredible lesson about God's faithfulness, and that of His people, but staying put and walking through a difficult season with your community around you. Most people never have this wonderful experience because they never stick around long enough.