Core Virtue :: SELF-CONTROL

I have the power, through Christ, to control myself.

For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope - the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ."

Titus 2:11-13

Often, grace is a word used for when a person begins their relationship with God...that moment when they decide to say "Yes" to their invitation to follow the way of Jesus by embracing his sacrificial death and resurrection. This is a good reference for grace. But grace doesn't stop when we enter the family of God. Paul indicates here that grace teaches us, once the offer has been accepted. The word picture is not a teacher/student picture, but rather a parent/child relationship.

This training begins with a negative - saying "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions. The Message translates this part of the passage, this way: "We're being shown how to turn our backs on a godless, indulgent life." The things that controlled our life before accepting the offer of salvation, are the things that we say no to, so that...

We can "live self-controlled, upright and godly lives" today. God's grace is not training us for the sweet-by-and-by, but for today, right now, as we wait for Christ's return. This is key to understanding the core virtues. These are all fruit of a living tree, a life lived right now, in relationship with God and with others. "I just can't control myself," ought to never be uttered by a person in relationship with Jesus. That cheapens the grace that has been given to us. If we are not controlling ourselves, it is not because we can't, but because we won't.

Jesus does not leave it up to you. We don't believe that we have the power to control ourselves. We believe that we have the power, through Christ, to control ourselves. When it feels like you can't control yourself any longer, that is precisely the point where Jesus wants to step in and train you to do so. It almost sounds like the competency should be Christ-control, rather than self-control, but that would reduce the relational aspect of a life lived in Christ. By being trained to control ourselves, we maintain a level of choice that enhances the relationship. We do because we love. We can because we have learned from Christ, to control ourselves, so we love freely.

Related Competencies include: Salvation by Grace, Identity in Christ, Stewardship, Single-Mindedness and Bible Study.

Parents::

KidsKreed :: I am controlling my thoughts and actions because God helps me.

Every mature adult has a certain level of self-control that comes by maturation. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with their spiritual lives. Kids are in a unique position because while we are training them in areas of self-control related to their faith, they are also learning natural levels of self-control. It's important that we don't let them confuse the two, or they will grow up thinking they do not need Jesus at all. God's grace teaches us to live a self-controlled life that is characterized by being upright and godly. When our child says they can't stop picking on a neighbor, it's our responsibility to point out the grace that is training us to say "no" to that and "yes" to the upright and godly response. When our child comes home with three dollars they found on the floor at school, its our responsibility to train them in the grace that says the upright and godly thing to do is to return the money. When our teenagers are pirating music on the internet, it's our responsibility to show them that God's grace calls them to a more upright and godly stance...no matter how many other kids are doing it. You get the picture, don't you.